It’s like mud in your mouth…
By Louis-Dominique. Filed in Pune 2006 |
India, diarrhea, contamination, flies and rickshaws.
When I learned I was going to go to India this summer, I sarcastically exclaimed “this summer shall be known as The Summer of Diarrhea” but I’ve actually been relatively lucky. I’ve had only two bouts and in both cases, the illness was quite manageable. It did not prevent me from going to Sanskrit classes nor to go on a weekend trip. Two small bouts in a month is not so bad in light of the fact that some people catch traveler’s diarrhea as soon as their foot touches the Indian soil and have to deal with it for the entirety of their trip. Not so bad also when considering that the variety of diarrheal illnesses catchable in India can get you expelling fluids from both ends, or even sometimes from ends you did not know you had.
All available documentation on traveler’s diarrhea mention that it is normally caught by ingesting contaminated water or food. Given the incidence of traveler’s diarrhea among foreigners I would say then that most water and food are contaminated to some degree. Food from street food carts is not only contaminated but comes with the extra je ne sais quoi that makes it so flavorful.
CUSTOMER: It’s so flavorful! What is this je ne sais quoi that gives it flavor?
VENDOR: Contamination.
Then there’s the food from bottom rung restaurants which cut costs by cutting corners all around, with the staff for instance.
MAN: We ordered an hour ago. Who’s our waiter again?
WOMAN: He’s the fly that drowned in your drink.
On the other hand, at five star restaurants, the food chain is meticulously controlled to ensure the highest level of quality. The raw ingredients are irradiated on site, on the farm, and then sealed in hermetic containers. They are shipped directly to the restaurants, where chefs and cooks donning biohazard suits and working in a sterile environment prepare meals. Once ready, a meal is packed in an individually sealed container at which point the container is taken out of the sterile environment. A waiter picks up the container and brings it to the table. The sealing mechanism is unlocked, releasing a small puff of air as the interior pressure adjusts to the exterior pressure, a sure sign that the package was tightly sealed. The waiter dramatically unveils the dish while the customers gasp with excitement. Then, a fly lands on the dish, contaminates it and causes the customers to spend their one week “Kama Sutra Adventures” travel package conversing with a toilet.
As a foreigner, it truly seems like no matter what you do, some mysterious force will ensure that you will get diarrhea. By god, you will get ill even if it means that mud will be thrown into your mouth. I have not had mud thrown into my mouth… yet… but there’s been a close call recently. It is monsoon season in India which means that it rains on a fairly regular basis. In addition, street drainage is laughable. I’ve seen pools of water in the middle of the road big enough to sail in. Heck, I’ve seen overwhelmed street drains spurt out water into the street. Now, we go to school and back from it by autorickshaw. (An autorickshaw has a 2-stroke engine driven by a rickshaw driver. It is called rickshaw for short.) A rickshaw normally has a roof but its sides are left open to the elements. The upshot of all this is that when the roads are drenched with water, there is a significant risk of getting showered with road juice. The worst case scenario is being passed by a truck which just so happens to be driving into a mega-pool of water. If the rickshaw is also passing through a pool of water, then all bets are off. In a scene reminiscent of The Poseidon Adventure, the rickshaw is overturned by a wave of brown water. Rickshaw, driver, passengers, all are lost at sea.
So anyway, last week a motorcycle passed our rickshaw. Motorcycles do no cause naval disasters but their wheels are very good at spraying mud around. So I was sprayed with muddy road juice. Luckily, none of it got into my mouth but that was a close call. I burned my clothes and washed myself with bleach just to be on the safe side. Then a fly landed on my rice…