Daily Archives: March 30, 2009

FDA-approved maggots

Here’s a new expression to use for edification and fun: FDA-approved maggots.

Charlie: Hey Bob, you don’t look so good. You’ve got pus running down your leg.

Bob: My leg has been rotting ever since I got bitten by that rabid koala.

Charlie: Did you try using maggots? They’ll eat the dead flesh right out!

Bob: Yes, I’ve tried them but they don’t seem to work.

Charlie: Where did you get them from?

Bob: From a steak in the garbage dump.

Charlie: Oh! That’s your problem. You should use only FDA-approved maggots.

Announcer: FDA-approved maggots: ask your witch-doctor about them.

[Disclaimer: Side effects include vomiting, dizziness and losing limbs. Do not use maggots together with cat breath, bat wings or newt eyes. Do not use maggots if you are a pregnant woman or a zombie. Maggots should only be used under the supervision of a licensed necromancer.]