Should the Kansas School Board include the theory of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in their curriculum? They have decided that intelligent design must be taught together with the theory of evolution so why not this theory too?
But how will the revelations of this church affect my own research regarding the Empire of the Green Penguins (bottom of the page)? It is still unclear…
I get spammed just like everyone else. Sometimes I’d like to respond to those bozos but I know that my responses won’t get anywhere. So I’ll do the next best thing and respond to them here. Since I don’t want to open their messages, I’m only going to respond to their subject line.
I want to do grocery shopping on weekends whereas my wife wants to go during the week. We had a small discussion about this this morning:
HER: Make a list. I’ll go get the groceries by myself.
ME: Yeah, and I won’t get what I really want.
HER: That won’t happen: your stuff is easy.
[At that point, I realize she has the upper hand so I have to think quick and come up with this:]
ME: Oh yeah? I want a cyclotron tokamak inverter and it has to fit in the basement. What do you say now?
HER: Don’t be a jackass.
So she won on this point but we’ll see who’s the boss once I get my cyclotron.
I’ve been hearing some strange tapping in the attic lately. This morning I’ve decided I should go up and look. My wife asked me what I thought it was. For all I knew it could have been a squirrel, a racoon, or even Jay Leno. I told her it was probably a lost buffalo. She said I was brave to go up there face possible danger. I just said “bah!” and smiled the smug smile of a man afraid of nothing. Now that I think of it, I should have milked that moment for all it was worth. Surely, battling unknown beasts agrees more with the feminine notion of what makes a man heroic than figuring out a difficult Sanskrit passage does.
Anyway, I went up there and shone my torch around. I didn’t see anything move or any trace of anything living up there. No buffalo. I thought maybe I had scared away whatever was tapping up there. If I stayed still, in the dark, maybe it would show up. So I turned off my torch (and my headlight) and waited in the dark. While I was up there, I thought of a few practical jokes; the most horrible of them having me scream “Aaaah! It’s got my face!” I should point out that few people know that I like practical jokes because a) I don’t perform them in formal/semi-formal settings b) I censor myself because I tend to think up practical jokes that would be pretty scary to whomever would be at the receiving end. So I didn’t play any joke on my wife. When afterwards she admonished me because I had told her the joke I had in mind, I had to press the point that I didn’t execute it. Anyhow, waiting in the dark didn’t help. I didn’t see anything and didn’t find any trace of any creature so I don’t know what I heard up there.
While reflecting on the experience, as I was packing up my gear, I realized I had been a bit careless in going up there. I have a good sturdy crowbar I could have brought with me but I didn’t. What if I had found headcrabs up there? What then?
… I said the first time I used the new toothbrush my wife bough for me. The reverse side of the brush has some sort of rubbery tongue scraper kind of thing which feels like the underside of a boot. Here’s a slogan: “The Acme toothbrush. Try it. Feel it: like a boot in your mouth.”
