Recently, I’ve heard a story which I’m probably going to butcher just now. An ant goes up to whisper into an elephant’s ear. The elephant falls over in shock. What did the ant whisper? “I want your baby.” (I’ve also heard the variant “I’m having your baby.”)

Reflecting on that story… because that’s the kind of thing I do all the time… reflect on stories… Anyway, upon reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion that there reasonably cannot be a more intimate proposal from a woman than the offer of bearing a man’s offspring. First, it implies carnal knowledge (what a quaint expression!) and then nine months of carrying in the womb a being which is half derived from the father. The only offer I could think of which would be more intimate is “I want your kidneys” but that is not a reasonable offer. Of course, the offer could be “you can have my kidney”, which is pretty intimate… but no sex is involved.

Ok, enough with erotic ants.